On Sunday, I gave a surface review of #100happydays in which I participated on Instagram from June until this past Saturday. Today I thought I’d dig a little deeper.
Why did I begin this? Was it because I had a void in my life that I needed filled? No, I don’t think so. At first, I was resistant to it because I thought it was a silly meme, which in some ways it is, and it was a fad that would pass, which it will.
So what made me cave to the pressure, if not peer, at least in my own head? I think maybe it had something to do with turning 45, not that the age was a milestone but that I already had planned a special birthday weekend and, by extension, special birthday month. Why not extend it further?
I started with a photo of me with wings and ended with a photo of me with wings. In between, I attempted to chronicle more than just food or drink that made me happy, because I didn’t want to be viewed as someone always ruled by his appetites. However, often I still defaulted to a food or drink photo, perhaps because even if not all the time, much of the time I am ruled by my appetites.
At times, I was able to chronicle what really made, and makes, me happy. That includes spending time with my wife, my family, my cat, a good book, a good album, a good movie.
In the case of food, and maybe this is a rationalization to some degree, I not only thought of the food or drink but also sometimes of other things. Sometimes I thought of the hands, particularly my wife’s, that prepared it. Other times, I saw the food or drink as a symbol: for the end of the work day or week, for example.
I should add here that it isn’t that my part-time job as a library assistant is that bad or bad at all. It’s just that as an introvert, and with the way my work week progresses from shorter days to longer days, I look forward to those days, usually the weekend, that I am not around people.
It also didn’t hurt that I did this meme during the summer. In fact when I chose to do it, I consulted the calendar and noted that the bulk of the days would be before Labor Day. If this had been during the winter, I doubt I would have done it. As my wife noted when I mentioned this that I could have done it during the winter, but that it wouldn’t have been as easy.
I asked her if she thought it made me happier, she said that it did insofar as we planned to do things together and then had fun doing things. Otherwise, she said I was a miserable bastard. Okay, not really, but hey, now that this thing is over, I can go back to being one.
Or maybe, just maybe I always will be in a state of nirvana.
Of course, if I can stay in the middle of the two extremes, bastard and nirvana, I might be…well…happy.